Good morning, my friends! Welcome to another Soulful Saturday, where I tell you more deep, personal things about myself. That said, I’m not always the best at thinking up topics… So, I often turn to other bloggers, challenges and friends. Today’s post was inspired by a few things: a listing to discuss social media, my friends who blog always helping me when I’m stuck… Honestly I could ramble about how I get my ideas plenty more, but I wanna step right into this post now.
I’ve always considered myself an introvert. It’s easy to do that when, at age six, you went to a small party and had to go home because the crowd before you made you vomit. Yep, that’s right- I was six when I had my first anxiety attack. Actually, I think that coincides more with panic- but that doesn’t really matter right now.
I’m always getting people telling me I need to get out in the world more and make ‘real friends’. The thing is, they usually imply ‘friends you can physically hang out with’ more than ‘friends that are truly good for you’. I tend to be a hermit crab, leaving myself sheltered in my home and only going out for doctors and stuff.
And that’s actually where the confusion arises offline: I’m so nervous around large groups, I sit to the back and occasionally talk to people I don’t know. When I talk to these people, I’m always told by them that I’m quite friendly and good with people, which leads to me laughing. To be honest, I talk because I’m nervous. I can’t handle loud noises, but silence in the air doesn’t help me either.
That said, I’m not actually fond of most people offline enough to spend time with them. I have some close friends I’d love to see more often, but I’m just as happy to just text back and forth. It’s this sense of invisibility that makes me love to talk to people on the internet. I’m on five or six forums, I have many friends on discord… And to me, they’re all precious friends, even some that I’d trust with my life, somehow or another.
It’s as if offline I’m introverted by far, but online I’m a clear extrovert. That, or maybe I’m just lonely. All I know is the internet is the only way I managed to find romance most of my life. Even my boyfriend, who I’ve since met offline, was originally just a friend on a forum I roleplayed on. I fell for him steadily in time, and the depth of that love is a whole other topic. But this is just what I mean by my being truly happy with my online friends- they’re as dear as offline, and I couldn’t be more thankful to all of them.
Before I finish up, since I think I wrote enough about the quandary I have of whether I’m an introvert or extrovert. Really quick, I’d like to ask you to really look at the Sites to See page. You’ll notice many things, such as friends’ forums and blogs, as well as my own. Yep, I have a forum! I try to give each link on the page a little blurb based on how I know them- so you shouldn’t find it hard to decide if they might interest you to look at.
Also, I know some people aren’t always comfortable talking to me in comments. (I at least know I can feel awkward commenting on things, for some reason). If you’d like to chat, I’m always open either by email (firstname.lastname@example.org) or Twitter (JuneberryChan). So don’t be afraid to contact me, okay? I love all of you! Take care, my precious, precious friends.