Topical Tuesday: Widespread

Hey everyone, welcome back! Did you have a good weekend? I spent the weekend doing all sorts of things, including fight the blahs. But actually, that’s what I want to talk about today. No, not the blahs- though those do deserve a post, maybe Saturday. No, today I want to talk about how varied my interests are and why I’m spread as thin as I am.

Now, I know I said this was going to be a personal blog from now on… But this post is about the fact I burn out easily, have no attention span, and can easily lose track of what’s going on at any given time. There’s a reason my WIP list is 20+ titles long. When I burn out on one, I work a bit on the next one. Recently, I’ve been mixing that methodology by using a different writing program for each as I work on them. That’s hitting two birds with one stone, since I intend to write reviews of these programs for the mag.

But it’s not just writing. I dabble in all sorts of things, ranging from game development to administrating web forums. In fact, I was just recently promoted to administrator by the head admin of a site I frequent, who also happens to host my own forum. There should be a link on the Sites to See page. If it’s missing, let me know.

But here’s the thing- I work on all these projects at the same time. And it’s not just working on projects that I multitask with. I chat, play games, and surf the web- all often while doing my creative work of that time period. Lately, I’ve been playing a lot of minecraft with friends on a multiplayer server. Its given me story ideas to fill out some things… and not always are they flowery ideas. In fact, some are quite morbid.

I’ve gotten back into the Sims 4, too. I spend a good hour a day looking at custom content for it, I think. Then again, I spend a lot of time looking for plugins and graphics for game development.

Of course, there are a few other things that help spread me apart further. I’m big on social media- not popularity-wise, but usage-wise. I’ve been thinking about doing stuff on youtube, too, if I can think of some content. I used to use instagram a lot, and I feel like I should get into it again too… I can make my comipoems again, I just haven’t had the mindset for it somehow.

The big problem for me is this: I have so many projects and things I do at once, I lose focus quickly and skip around between tasks haphazardly. And it also affects my home life. I’m lazy by nature, but by taking up all my time doing these many different projects and the like, I end up putting my chores on pause for days or even weeks at a time. I have so much laundry to fold, guys! It’s not even funny.

And here’s the real kicker: I watch a lot of youtube videos about certain topics. I love watching videos on beauty, weird challenges, organization, bullet journals, stationary, and minimalism. I’m no minimalist, but I feel like my life would be better if I were. I have a bullet journal, but I haven’t written in it in weeks or months. I have plenty of makeup and like putting it on time to time even if I don’t need to because I’m staying home. But organization? I watch those to inspire myself to work on my disastrous bedroom… But so far, in recent weeks, I’m getting nothing. I’m impressed by the things I find, sure, but… Somehow, watching cool methods to organize just makes me feel a little down because I don’t think I could ever do that so confidently. I walk into my room and get an anxiety attack when I think of cleaning it up.

So yeah… I’m pretty well spread thin enough I should snap at any moment. With my various art and development projects, my writing, my social media presence, blogging, surfing the web and playing games, I distract myself from the real problems in my life: my cluttered room that’s more a pig sty than a bedroom; dealing with my anxiety related to cleaning; my trust issues, which I avoid easily by interacting less with people. I have so many personal problems I could write a book about them. Okay, so I kind of plan to- but that’s not my point!

My point is this: I’m overwhelming myself and I know it. But how do I stop myself when all these projects are important to me? And how do I fight the overwhelming fear I feel when it’s time to look in my room and try to tidy it up? I need all the help I can get, so give me your best coping skills- and maybe share what’s burning you out or spreading you thin too!