{"id":339,"date":"2019-07-23T11:07:19","date_gmt":"2019-07-23T15:07:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jrolik.caludin.com\/?p=339"},"modified":"2019-07-23T11:07:19","modified_gmt":"2019-07-23T15:07:19","slug":"topical-tuesday-friendship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jrolik.caludin.com\/index.php\/2019\/07\/23\/topical-tuesday-friendship\/","title":{"rendered":"Topical Tuesday: Friendship"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Good morning, guys! It\u2019s hard to believe Tuesday came so quickly. I\u2019m still not adjusted to days of the week yet, or so it seems by my extreme fatigue. Fatigue aside, I have a great topic to talk about today, and it just so happens to start with an F: Friendship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Friendship is a very special thing- but it\u2019s even more special if you\u2019re like me and struggle to trust people even 10%. My fear of being abandoned has made it common for me to try pushing people away the more they become close to me. That\u2019s right folks, if I was pushing you away, either I really didn\u2019t like you or I just liked you too much. And yes, I know that\u2019s confusing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019d like to put an emphasis on one word there, though: was. I\u2019ve come to a point where I don\u2019t always assume someone is going to leave me because of how close we are. I still occasionally react as if I do think that, but I\u2019m learning a way to separate my real friends, such as you guys, from my friends that I can\u2019t seem to see staying by my side. That difference? Family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To me, my true friends, my good friends- they\u2019re family to me. It doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019m guaranteed not to push them away at a certain point, but I\u2019m far less likely to than if I don\u2019t see them that way. I hate my extended family much of the time, but my friend family is very dear to me. I try hard to fight the urge to avoid them far more than I\u2019d avoided keeping away from friends before. I do have friends that may feel I\u2019ve pushed away from them still. Friends that are extremely dear to me, the closest to family I have offline. But that\u2019s not intended, and I hope someday they see this: I love you all, I just kind of lose track of time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Time isn\u2019t something I\u2019m good at keeping an eye on. As my schedule is barely existent, days blend together and so I can\u2019t keep track of when I last spoke to someone. Was it just a day, a week, a month? I also still have one worry that comes up often: I don\u2019t want to be too clingy like I tend to be. What if they\u2019re busy or something? It\u2019d make me feel bad if I interrupt them while they\u2019re working hard on things in their own lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That said, I want you all to know- if you\u2019re my friend, you\u2019re my family. And to me, all of you reading this are somewhere in that family tree- and I can\u2019t be more thankful to have you, despite my insecurities.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Good morning, guys! It\u2019s hard to believe Tuesday came so quickly. I\u2019m still not adjusted to days of the week yet, or so it seems by my extreme fatigue. Fatigue aside, I have a great topic to talk about today, and it just so happens to start with an F: Friendship. Friendship is a very…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[33,2],"tags":[95,40],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8uAZQ-5t","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jrolik.caludin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/339"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jrolik.caludin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jrolik.caludin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jrolik.caludin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jrolik.caludin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=339"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/jrolik.caludin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/339\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":340,"href":"https:\/\/jrolik.caludin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/339\/revisions\/340"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jrolik.caludin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=339"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jrolik.caludin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=339"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jrolik.caludin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=339"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}